


A Time To Hide

by Aiacha_Teia_Kyto



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: All talky-talky, Hiding from the Empire, How does the force work, Jedi beliefs, Not Beta Read, Post-Order 66 (Star Wars), this is an experiment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 11:55:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30038322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aiacha_Teia_Kyto/pseuds/Aiacha_Teia_Kyto
Summary: Though Order 66 was thorough, there were some Jedi that survived the extermination of their Order.  This is one of them.
Kudos: 2





	A Time To Hide

**Author's Note:**

> This was an idea I tossed around for a while. I started writing journal entries for a Jedi survivor but thought it was a little dry. Thought to myself, hey self, you enjoy writing dialogue, why don't you add some. Just dialogue. There are two paragraphs of prose, but that's it. I think it came out rather nicely.

Date: 3258.30.6  
Perhaps it is time I write this down. So much has transpired, and I don’t know how… if the Order shall weather this. It’s just…

Everyone is gone. I can still sense a few, but from where I am, where I have settled, their presences in the Force are all but dimmed stars.

I know Master Kenobi is alive. At least he was six weeks ago. His final message echoed in my mind for days. I try to cling to his final words, to believe that a new hope will emerge in the galaxy. But it is hard when everything is so dark, even in the sensation of the Force.

I’ve landed on a small planet in the Outer Rim. I don’t believe the war has affected them. They don’t even seem to know much, if anything about the Republic as a whole. It’s a pleasant little planet, and I have been able to find a small place to hide. Acquiring funds has been a challenge, they don’t use Republic credits here. I was able to find a secure place to hide my fighter, however I did have to perform some slicing to convince the storage location that the slip was fully paid up.

I was also able to create myself a credit account with one of their larger banks. Highly illegal, but if there was another way I would have taken it.

I’ve decided to write down my experiences. There will come a time when the Order will return, I am sure of it. Perhaps my experiences will give insight to others.

————

“You always seem keyed up, like you’re on high alert all the time. Why is that?”  
_Sigh._ “I guess I can tell you. I’m in hiding; I don’t want to be found.”  
“What, like witness protection?”  
“What’s that?”  
“Come on, you’ve heard of witness protection. You know, when someone witnesses a crime, and the cops have to keep them safe to testify or some shit.”  
“I…I suppose it’s something like that. But there’s no one else keeping me safe, just me.”  
“So, is this your fake identity?”  
“No, I told you my name. My real name. Why, do you think I need one?”  
“I dunno. If that’s your real name, it’s kinda out there.”  
…  
“I kinda like it though. It’s different.”

————-

Date: 3258.13.9  
I can’t sleep. The darkness in the Force has become an ache deep in the base of my mind. I cannot meditate without the darkness threatening to envelop me. It’s a constant struggle.

I’m slowly learning to rely on others. There is someone who I’ve slowly become close to. He … I’ve told him everything, who I am, what has happened in the galaxy. I wasn’t sure at first but I knew I couldn’t go on on my own. I always had my brothers and sisters in the Force to rely on, but now no one.

He accepts me for who I am, though I’m not entirely sure he believes me. In his place, I’m not sure I would believe me either.

————

“I don’t get this whole Force thing.”  
“I guess I’m not explaining it well. It’s an energy field, put off by all things…”  
“What, like a magnetic field?”  
“In a way, I suppose. But unlike a magnetic field, the strength has nothing do to with the objects or persons size.”  
“So, do I put off a Force field?” _Chuckle._  
“You do, and I can sense it, though it’s not very strong.”  
“Hey!”  
“But that’s no fault of your own. The Force is very light here. Through the Force I can manipulate objects, sense emotions, but it’s so much more than that.”  
“You can read my mind? What am I thinking right now?”  
“I can’t read your thoughts, it doesn’t work like that. And I don’t need to sense through the Force what you’re thinking, what with that leer in your eyes. A blind person could tell what you’re thinking.”

—————

Date: 3259.17.2  
Sleep has eluded me for the last week. Every time I close my eyes the darkness rushes in, as if it has grown stronger in these last few months. I can’t walk down the street, work at my job, close my eyes without the fear that they will find me. I’m not even sure who ‘they’ are.

It feels as if my presence in the Force is a beacon, calling the darkness to me, to this planet. They have their own problems here, I can’t be the one to compound it by bringing down … whatever the Republic has become upon them.

The man I wrote about earlier, he’s been a grounding force for me, staying by me through my pain and sleepless nights.

He believes me now; I brought him to see my fighter. I can’t help but smile at the memory of him seeing it for the first time, how his eyes lit with wonder and surprise. It was the first time I had laughed in quite a while.

Growing close to him, it’s made me a little wary. The code warns against attachments, and I’ve seen what happens when attachments turn to possessiveness and jealousy. But when I think of what good having him near has done for me, perhaps an attachment is what I need at this time.

I fear for him, though, as we grow close. What if something happens to me as the darkness encroaches? What will happen to him, will he become swept up in the darkness? Will it infect him and drag him down? I shudder to think of it.

—————

“Are you sure?”  
_Deep breath._ “Yes. I think it is the best course of action.”  
“But, it’s a part of you. It’s a part of who you are.”  
_Nod._ “But it’s not all of me. More importantly, they won’t be able to sense me.”  
“It’s a big planet. Do you really think they could find you?”  
“If they found this planet, then yes, I probably stand out like a beacon. I…I can’t let them. I can’t bring them here.”

—————

Date: 3259.23.3  
I’ve come to a decision, one that I do not take lightly.

I will cut myself off from the Force.

Two days ago I risked powering up my fighter and scanned for some of old Republic info channels. What I heard disturbed me. At some point the Chancellor had declared the Republic an Empire and he, along with a Darth Vader, surely the Sith we had been searching for, have been scouring the galaxy for any remaining Jedi, declared enemies of the Empire.

I can’t bring the Empire here. This planet has kept off the Empire’s radar for so long, I can’t destroy them like that. If no longer touching the Force will keep the Empire from finding me, finding this planet, then it is my only course of action.

I’ve talked it over with my fiancée. Yes, the man I had previously mentioned, we’re getting married shortly. I’ve talked to him, tried to explain what I am planning to do. He’s concerned, worried about what this will do to me. I was honest with him, telling him I really didn’t know. I could tell he wished for more explanation, but he just nodded and hugged me, told me he would support me.

I’m glad I have him at this time. In this time of, let’s face it, desperation, it’s reassuring to have someone close, someone to rely on. I don’t think the council would have frowned on this.

But it doesn’t matter now, does it.

—————

“Are you okay? Hon, are you okay?”  
_Pause._ “No.”

—————

Date: 3259.30.3  
It’s done. About a week ago, I think. I’ve had a hard time concentrating; everything’s so … quiet.

I find myself aching for the feel of the Force, even how it felt the day of the extermination. Torn, aching, but I could still sense something

Now … now I feel nothing.

Now I am alone

Date:  
I … I had forgotten about this. I … uh ….

Date: 3263.27.6  
Right. The journal. Well, the short version is the loss of the Force sent me first into illness, then a depression. I suppose getting out of the habit of writing in the journal pushed it to the back of my mind. As you can see by the date it’s been a while.

I never left who I am completely behind. Every three months we head out to my storage unit and give the fighter a once-over. At first it seemed to ease the pain of losing the Force, to be reminded of who I was. But meditation, training, those things got put aside for far too long. I don’t need to be able to sense the Force, touch the Force to meditate, to keep up with my training. About a year ago, I finally realized this and started making time to do both. The sensations are different, sure, but no less fulfilling. My husband doesn’t join me, but he understands, even encourages me. And he seems to like watching me run basic katas in the backyard.

The last time we went out to the ship, just last week, I turned on the comms and searched for news. Buried in the reports of grandeur and good deeds were reports of a rebellion against the Empire. That made me smile, to know that the people of the galaxy would not take the rule of the Empire lying down. Listening to the reports seemed to set my mind thinking, that perhaps the time will come to emerge from hiding. That perhaps this is the new hope that Master Kenobi talked about.

—————

“The neighbor kids are starting to wonder.”  
“About what?”  
“What you’re doing in the backyard. I see them peering out the window, watching you run your katas. I think they’re interested in your lightsaber. Maybe you should start practicing with the toy we bought.”  
“It’s not the same. It’s heavy, and the balance is completely different.”  
“I know, I know. But one of these days they’re going to come outside and want to see what you’re doing. You can’t offer to them your lightsaber; they’ll cut their own hand off.”  
“They’re old enough. I was working with a full power lightsaber by the time I was ten.”  
…  
“All right, that was in the Temple. With supervision. And bacta available. I’ll start using the toy we bought. But if I know the kids aren’t home I’m going to use my lightsaber, deal?”  
“Deal.”

—————

Date:3263.5.7  
The Force called to me today. I haven’t reached out to the Force in over three years, but I felt it today, in my meditation. Just on the edge of my perception, almost as a question. It was light, hesitant, as if we both weren’t sure what to do. When I opened my eyes, they were filled with tears. 

It got me thinking about the transmissions I listened to last week. Perhaps it is time to rejoin the fight, to reveal myself as a Jedi and help take the Republic back from the Empire.

I’m getting ahead of myself. It was only a touch, and a hesitant once at that. Perhaps the Force is unsure if I’m ready. Perhaps it isn’t the Force that is unsure; that’s never occurred to me before.

————-

“Your eyes are red; you’ve been crying. What’s wrong?”  
“I haven’t been crying, it’s just…. Something happened. While I meditated. I felt the touch of the Force.”  
“I thought you couldn’t anymore.”  
“I can’t. It was different, light, questioning. I didn’t reach out to it. I think it reached out to me.”  
“What does that mean?”  
_Pause._ “I don’t know.”

—————

Date: 3263.23.7  
It happened again, but not during my meditation. We were sitting watching television when I felt it, reaching out, closer this time. I could almost feel it encircle me. My gasp drew my husband’s attention, and I tried to explain what I was feeling. I don’t think he quite understands the sensations, but he clearly believed me.

He thinks I should reach back out, reestablish my connection with the Force. I’m not yet certain it’s safe enough; surely the Empire still has their hunters out in the galaxy, looking for survivors. 

—————

“It’s not powering up.”  
“Maybe you’re out of fuel. What does this thing run on, unleaded?”  
…  
“Sorry. Maybe it just needs a jump. We’ve got the battery charger in the car…”  
“It’ll need more power than that. Maybe that generator we bought last year and never use. That might be enough to give it a kick.”  
“We can swing by tomorrow and do that.”  
_Pause._ “Let’s do it now, all right?”  
“Yeah, sure. Why so important?  
“I just… it happened again. I could feel the Force surrounding me. I can almost feel it now, just out of my perception. And I want to reach out, to embrace it…”  
“Then you should.”  
“Not until I know it’s safe. Not until I know that opening myself to the Force won’t just bring the Empire here. I wouldn’t do that to this planet. To you. I won’t put you in danger on my account.”  
“Why do you do this, deny yourself like this?”  
“It’s who I am. It’s what I do.”

—————

Date: 3263.21.9

I opened myself to the Force this morning, reached out and touched it again, and I will admit I was nearly overwhelmed. In my mind’s eye I would see the ribbons of force dance around me as they once had, bright, colorful and full of life. I could feel them run through my fingers as I reached out, warm and welcoming. My whole life I have known its touch but today it was as if I was experiencing it for the first time. I’d never felt anything so beautiful.

It’s a risk, I know. But the transmissions we picked up were silent on the Empire hunting out the Jedi. Perhaps the rest of us are so well hidden that the Empire has found it too difficult. 

I prefer that explanation to the alternate.

—————

“You know what you need?”  
“What?”  
“A vacation.”  
“A what?”  
“A vacation. Look, I know, well, I can imagine how hard the last few years have been for you. Hiding, afraid that someone will find you, find us, so much so that you closed yourself off from part of yourself for years. I think maybe you need some time to take your mind off of all of it.”  
“It doesn’t change the situation.”  
“I know that. It’s not meant to. Just, give yourself a reprieve for a couple days. You said it yourself, they may have called off their searches.”  
“May have.”  
“Just trust me, all right?”

————

Date: 3263.11.10  
After a flight then a shuttle bus, we’ve made it to his secret destination, an amusement park of sorts. We’re staying at a hotel nearby and he keeps telling me the real surprise is tomorrow. I still have no idea what he is up to.

The Force feels gentle here, it’s actually very calming. We sat outside for a while, just watching the other guests mill about. I just closed my eyes and let the sensations roll over me for a while. Ever since I reached back out into the Force, I’ve sensed an undercurrent of anxiety from the people around me. Day to day concerns affecting people’s mindsets; very few people seemed to take the time to calm their minds from the day’s business and their stress flows into the Force.

Here, people seem to have left those concerns behind, and let themselves relax, put away the everyday stress. I can feel the difference in the Force, and it’s very soothing.

—————

“This way. I really think you’ll like it.”  
“Where are you taking me?”  
_Pause._ “Here.”  
… “What is this place?”  
“Fantasyland put together by the designers. Based on some movies that came out a couple of years ago, before you arrived.”  
“It’s … unlike anything I’ve seen here.”  
“That’s the idea. We’re supposed to be on another planet, at some kind of port.”  
“Wait. I thought people here didn’t know about life on other planets.”  
“They don’t, not really. But your Republic is still out there, right? I suspect someone picked up some broadcasts and used what they heard as a basis for the movies.”  
“But why…”  
“Look, it doesn’t really matter. All I know is that you’ve been stuck on one planet for years. I thought it might be nice to, you know, visit another one. What do you think?”  
“Well, I don’t think I’ve ever been in a place quite like this, though the architecture is reminiscent of some places I have been. It’s nice.” _Pause._ “What are those people carrying around?”  
“Laserswords. Like the one we got you to practice with. They’re out of the movies. I kinda thought what with all these people carrying one around, you could as well.”  
“Is that why you I suggested I bring my lightsaber?”  
_Nods._ “I know how important it is to you. Here, you could carry it out in the open and no one would even give you a second look.”  
“Maybe I will. What do they call the people that carry those, uh, laserswords around?”  
“Jetiese.”  
…  
“They’re a real hit in the movies, you know.”  
…  
“What?”

—————

Date: 3263.12.10  
I happened to tuck my pad in my backpack, so I decided to write a journal entry from here. We’re in the amusement park, but this part of it is made up to look like a space port. Well, sort of. A small one, to be sure. All of the buildings have domed roofs, which adds to the otherworldliness of the place; those style roofs are just not seen much on this planet. And I suppose everything is meant to look like pourstone. It’s close, I suppose.

I’ve slipped my lightsaber on its clip and I’m wearing it out in the open, something I’ve not done since I arrived. They sell toys like the one we bought for me to practice with, and lots of people have them. I almost feel like I’m blending in.

I almost feel like I’m not hiding anymore.

—————

“He’s not a part of the show.”  
“What? Who is he? Is it one of those Sith you’ve talked about?”  
“I sense the dark side surrounding him, but I don’t know if he’s actually Sith.”  
“There’s a difference?”  
_“Come out little Jedi. I know you’re there.”_  
“Is he bluffing?”  
“I can sense him; it only makes sense that he can sense me as well.”  
_“Perhaps I will make my way through this crowd to find you? Is that what you would prefer?”_  
“Damm. Hold this.”  
“What are you doing? If he comes down here surely the crowd will scatter, we can run with them.”  
“I can’t risk innocents to be harmed on my account. I will face him, lead him away. Take my bag and I’ll find you.”  
“Wait! I lov…”  
_“Ah, there you are, Jedi. You thought you could hide from me?”_  
“I didn’t think you would actually be able to find me. Thought I’d make it easier for you.”  
_“You are easy to find in this world of emptiness.”_  
“Easy, huh? Then you should have no trouble chasing me.”

The combatants fought over unfamiliar territory, storage containers, movable sets and parade vehicles. Their fight was hidden from the eyes of this world, as if the Force arranged it so this world would remain ignorant of the dangers beyond their atmosphere. Yellow and red clashed violently, turning any set pieces that got in their way to slag.  
There were no taunts, no jibes, just a lethal fight between two practitioners of their art, one fighting with a remembered and practiced grace, the other with a deadly certainty and purpose.  
But this time the darker purpose was not enough.  
The Jedi stood, catching her breath and gathering her thoughts, over the empty shell of her enemy. There was nothing to be done with the body; it was not as if she could carry it out of this place. But the lightsaber. That needn’t be discovered.

“Oh, there you are honey!”  
“What? Where have you been?” _Pause._ “Are you all right?”  
“I’m…I’m fine. Here, put this in my bag.”  
“What is that?”  
“It’s his lightsaber. I couldn’t leave it.”  
“How did you get it from him?”  
…  
“Oh. Oh no, did you…”  
“I had to. It was him or me. Now, we should go, before the body is discovered.”  
“Uh, yeah. All right.”  
“Seems pretty calm in here for what just happened over there, out in the open.”  
“Yeah, about that. Seems the people around me thought it was all just a part of the show.”  
“You’re kidding.”  
“Nope. What with all of the people making their own laser swords and becoming Jetiese, I guess it fit right in. Maybe they thought Jedi was a slang version of Jetiese, I don’t know.”  
“It’s amazing what people see when they don’t actually know what they are looking at.”

—————

Date: 3263.1.11  
I can’t help but examine the lightsaber I claimed from the dark side user. When I heard the stories of those tasked to hunt down the Jedi, I had no idea they referred to Force users. But not Sith. The Force has told me the one from the amusement park was not a Sith. But what, then?

The crystal inside the saber was red, just as the blade was. I hadn’t heard of red crystals being found naturally. Maybe they could found be found on planets other that Ilum or Jehda, maybe a planet hidden from a Jedi’s sight.

Too many possibilities, not enough facts. The one fact was that this dark side user had found me, here out on the Outer Rim.

If he could find me, others could as well.

—————

“You what?”  
“I have to go.”  
“Is this about what happened at the park? I’m sure that was just a fluke, there’s no way…”  
“It wasn’t a fluke. I wish it was, I really do. I’ve thought about it, meditated on it. Something has changed, I don’t know what. What I do know is that leaving is the only way I can keep the people here safe. The only way I can keep you safe.”  
“We don’t have to go back. We can move…”  
_Deep breath._ “Nothing we can do will hide me from them, not any longer. Wherever I go on this planet, they will find me.” _Pause._ “We knew this day might one day come.”  
…  
“It’s why nothing is in my name. The house, the car, our bank accounts. We did that intentionally.”  
“I … I know. And it’s not like I didn’t believe you or anything. It’s just…”  
“I know.”

—————

Date:3263.7.11  
As I sit and write this entry across from the man I’ve lived with for these past five years, I can’t help but reflect on what it means to be a Jedi. I understand now. I understand why attachment is … was frowned upon. As Jedi, it was our calling to share our gifts with those who need it, we could not belong to any one world, any one person. 

I’m attached to this person before me, the way he laughs to himself from time to time. The way his hair falls in front of his face just so. And I know what I want to do most of all is keep him safe. And now, with the dark side closing in, I know the best way to keep him safe is to let him go.

It’s harder than I thought it would be.  
I could stay and fight. Cling to this planet, to him, and fight the Dark Side, fight the Empire when they ultimately find me here. But I know that I can not bring the Empire here. It would destroy this world and I could not, would not do that to this planet that has hidden me, kept me safe these past few years.

To this man whom I love.  
I must let go of what I fear to lose the most.  
I can feel the dark side closing in.

It’s time.

—————

“I added some extra protein bars to your bag. And those chocolate almond candies you like so much, I wanted to me sure you had some extra.”  
“Thanks.”  
“You’ll be all right? I mean, you’re not going to wind up floating in space out of fuel or anything like that.”  
“I have a few options, I should be fine.”  
“Where are you going to go?”  
“I’m going to try and find members of that rebellion against the Empire. It’s time for me to rejoin the fight.” _Pause._ “Here.”  
“No. No, keep the ring. Something to remember me by.”  
“I’m not going to need a ring to remember you, you know that.”  
“Will I ever see you again?”  
“I don’t think so. Perhaps, if the Force wills it.”  
“I’ll take that as a solid maybe.”  
_Pause._ “It’s time.”  
“I know.”  
“I love you.”  
“I love you too. Be safe.”

And in the dim light of twilight, a single seat fighter lifted from the planet’s surface, undetected as it had arrived five years ago. The one man on the planet aware of it watched it leave until it turned into a star in his sight, becoming dimmer until it winked out entirely. He remained there for some time, staring at the point at which the woman he knew as his wife and as a Jedi disappeared. The sky grew dark as he stood there, and his vigil was disturbed by the lighting of the security lights around him. He shook himself from his thoughts, removed the lock from the storage space, and drove home.

The Empire never arrived.


End file.
